How to say "I have cancer." Or, not.

I don't think I have mastered how to tell people that I have cancer. Here are some examples . . .

1. I've been playing phone tag with a friend since January. We were finally able to talk after I learned that the cancer was still hanging around. I'm sure she was expecting a great conversation about how I was feeling great and glad to be back a work. Instead the conversation went something like this:

K: Hi, how are you?!
M: Well, not so good. I just found out that the cancer is back. Or, was never gone.
K: Ummm . . . wow . . . I'm not sure what to say.

That was probably the best thing she could have said. I mean, really, what do you say?

2. I was a work and ran into an acquaintance that I hadn't see since before my surgery. He knew I had been sick last year and thought things were looking up.

J: Hey! Hi! You look great! I love the hair. How is everything?
M: Not good.
J: Oh.

And, I just left him hanging.

3. Today I was talking to two volunteers about a project and I had to stumble all over the place to tell them.

M: Well, I don't know what J told you about why I was out last week . . . well, oh, K, probably doesn't know . . . but might have guessed . . . I had cancer last year . . . and, um, it's back or was never gone . . . so, I had treatment last week . . . then I'm going to Maui . . . so I will work on your project after my second treatment . . . when I'm working at home . . . any questions?
K and G: shocked stares.

I really need to work on my delivery.

Abrupt U Turn

I'm really not sure what to write. I hadn't planned on cancer being a main topic of my blog. It began as a place to brag/whine/bitch about triathlon training. Well, it looks like I have something different to bitch/brag/whine about it. (I don't know exactly what I will bragging about, but I will find something.)

My first chemo was on Monday. These last few days haven't been fun, but just about what I expected. I've tried to get lots of rest and eat. Eat healthily. Which is a little challenging when I don't feel like eating. But eat I will! My plan is to go back to work tomorrow, I can only stand so much daytime TV and naps.

Visions of Maui, warm breezes, clear water, and drinks with little umbrellas, is the light at the end of this short tunnel.


A sunset view from our condos.